RANSVESTIA

the dance team, dressed in high heels and lovely gowns, and she would take the masculine role, leading me around the dance floor. In hesitation and doubt, my fingers touched my painted lips. I didn't know what to say. Absently, I smoothed the fabric of my skirt, straightening the folds and pulling the material out from under me, so that it wouldn't get wrinkled, a gesture that I had seen women do countless times. "Do you think that it would work?" I whispered.

Lois nodded her head. "Yes, I do," she said. "It will take a lot of work, a lot of effort and practice, but you have ability and between the three of us, we can do it."

I could feel Janet hold her breath and lean forward as she waited for my reply. I thought of the despair and defeat that I had been feeling, compared to the lightness and elation of my recent dancing experience. I had been in the depths of depression, without a glimmer of an idea, or hope even, and here was something. But it would mean such a change. I would have to alter my whole life and learn a new role, but what an adventure it would be, and I knew that we'd suc- ceed, after all.

"It won't be easy," Lois cautioned seriously. "We'll be on stage, under a spot light. And any mistake that you may make will be mag- nified before the audience. I even think that it would be best to take female hormones to help with the curves and softness, at least, until you are sure of yourself."

On stage, in the spot light, dressed in a ravishing gown, while my partner led me through the patterns. I would make a lovely picture. "Yes," I said. "Yes, yes yes!"

What a relief the decision was, up from defeat and despair to a plan that had a lot to offer. It would be a complete change, and my plans for the future would bend a little, but I had been driving for my career for so long that I really didn't have any other friends, or people who mattered, except for Lois and Janet, and now I felt hope again. "I will," I announced.

Behind me, Janet giggled happily. "You'll make a really attractive girl," she said. I felt her eager finger untie the ribbon that held up my hair, and it cascaded down around my ears and neck. I held my face up, shaking my head back and forth, enjoying the caress of tresses on my skin in a way that I had never permitted myself to do before.